Riku plus 2 girls equals trouble
by ChaosDragonLorei
Summary: PG-13 for potty mouth. Two girls, Rei and Lori(That's us!) fight each other for Riku's heart. Bring on the insanity! cough...sorta
1. New Enemies

**Riku + 2 girls = trouble**

Lori: ^_^ KONNICHIWA!! 

Rei: Hi! This is the first fic me and Lori are gonna do together!

Lori: This is gonna be a humor as it said before ya clicked on the name of our story!

Rei: Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything. . Wish we owned Riku though…

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It was indeed a nice day. The sun was shining, the children were laughing their giddy laugh….YEA RIGHT! A young girl, about 15 years with short black hair and a right eye of green and a left eye of blue, smirked as she shouldered a sword, about four feet long. A pair of young men, whose clothes were shreds, started to scream as the girl glared dangerously at them. "Now, are you gonna answer me or not?! What did you say about my boobs?!"

"P-please don't hurt us!!!" wailed one of the men. "We'll never say perverted  comments to you high school girls, again!!" The girl's eyes narrowed even more as a wider smirk appeared on her face. Pure malice was glinting in her eyes. The men started screaming like little sissies as the girl readied her sword as if to attack.

"Cut it out will you, Lori?" came a handsome voice. Lori blushed a light shade of red at the sound of the voice. "Riku!!!" she squealed, as she latched herself around the silver haired youth's waist. Scowling, Riku tried to pry the black-haired teen from his waist. 

Later, after finally getting Lori off him. "Lori, would you please show a little more self control?" Riku asked Lori.

"Whatever!" she replied, putting on a black jacket over her purple spaghetti strap.

"Let's go meet up with Sora, he has someone to introduce to us." The silver-haired teen told Lori.

"I'm not coming then."

"Why not?"

"Remember last time? When he introduced his new 'friend'?"

_~Flashback~_

"Hi, guys! Meet my new friend!" Sora called out, as a 14 year old Lori and a 16 year-old Riku walked up to Sora's house. A blonde haired youth, with green eyes and the poorest fashion sense, came out of Sora's house. "This is my friend Yoiha!" Sora introduced them.

Yoiha started wandering in places that only a pervert would look at. 'Slim, long legs…..toned abs……wow…….and……'

"BOOBS!!" Yoiha cried out, as Sora, Riku and Lori went dot-eyed and a small sweatdrop formed in their hair. Lori's eyebrow started to twitch rapidly as Yoiha, sick pervert hands, touched  her in a place all girls' don't want to be touched. "Duck and cover she's gonna blow!!" Sora cried out as he ran into his house and locked the door tightly and placing furniture to keep the door from being knocked down.

"OF ALL THE NERVE!!! WHAT THE HELL GAVE YOU AUTHORITY TO DO THAT?!" Lori started yelling, the flames of hell starting to erupt around her. "YOU SICK, PERVERTED BASTARD!! " she finished and with that she aimed a kick at Yoiha's nether regions. He keeled over, clutching his crotch and tears were forming in his eyes.

_~End Flashback~_

"Remember?" Lori asked Riku. Riku sighed and nodded. He still remembered that day as if it happened yesterday. He chuckled slightly before saying, "If his new friend is a perv, you can beat him up, if he touches you, and I won't stop you. Okay?"

"Fine." The black haired teen sighed.

"Good. C'mon, let's go." Said Riku starting to walk away in the direction of Sora's house.

"I got a bad feeling about this…" Lori murmured to herself. She shrugged to herself and followed Riku.

~Later~

"I don't remember Sora living so far away…." Groaned Lori. They had been walking nearly an hour in the city and they still weren't at Sora's place. Riku let out a small chuckle. "I don't recall saying we were going to Sora's. We're going to his new friend's house." He told her.

"Why couldn't they just come to my house?" Lori asked.

"That place is far too dangerous."

"Dangerous?!"

"That's right. You rigged the entire place with traps."

Lori let out a scoff. 'So what I rigged the place. They won't activate unless I press a certain button.' She thought angrily.

"I think this is the place." Riku said, stopping in front of a medium sized house.

The walls of the house were painted a light shade of pink and the shingles were a bright red. 

Lori followed Riku as he went to the door and knocked on it. A girl about 16-years-old and light gray eyes opened the door. "Oh, hello you must be Sora's friends. Please come in." She greeted them. "I'm Rei." 

"I'm Riku and this is--" Riku started.

"No way!! You're Riku?!" Rei said, with starry eyes. "I don't believe it!"

Lori raised an eyebrow at her. 'I don't believe it! Another Riku fanatic!' she thought to herself.

"Whose this? Your little sister?" Rei asked.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Lori yelled. "Do I seriously look like his sister?!"

"Yes."

Anime-style anger veins started to popped up on Lori's face. "Now, now Lori. Don't get upset." Riku said, sweatdropping.

"Hi, guys…..What the….?" Sora greeted, sweatdropping at the dark aura around Lori. 'Oh, boy….Lori hasn't even been here for a minute and already she's pissed off. This is not good.' Sora thought to himself.

"Alright, let's go inside where it's cool." Rei said happily. 

"I'll go get us some drinks." Rei said, and smirked once her back was turned to everyone.

~2 minutes later~

'I don't like that Rei. I get the feeling we aren't gonna get along.' Lori thought to herself as Rei set drinks down for everyone. Lori took her cup and took a large gulp before spitting it out all over Sora. "PICKLE JUICE!?!?" she yelled outraged.

Rei suddenly broke into a fit of giggles and fell over backwards. "YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!" Lori yelled, as Sora and Riku sweatdropped. 

Rei continued to laugh as Lori glared at her. Lori reached into her jean pocket and took out two small balls, painted green and had some writing on it. She smirked slightly and hurled the balls at Rei. They exploded on contact, releasing a grayish powder all over Rei. "What the hell was that supposed to do? Make me sneeze?" said Rei. She gasped as vines and moss started to grow around her and wrapped around her.

"I guess now we can call you swamp-woman Rei!" Lori laughed.

"What was that?" Sora asked Riku.

"Extra fast vine growing powder. She made them the other day." Riku replied, sighing.

The two girls continued to glare at each other. This was going to be a long day…

To be continued

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Lori: So what do you think about my first chapter? Rei will do the second one. 

Rei: Tell us what you think, alright?

Rei &Lori: Bye! Till next time! 


	2. Ansems new face

Lori: Hey guys! Sorry, we haven't updated in a while. Rei hasn't had time to update it, so I'm gonna be updating for her until she has time to work. 

Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN KH!!

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The two girls glared intensely at each other. Little eye beams of hate were shooting from their eyes and anime background fire replaced the cozy home of Rei. 

Sora sweatdropped at the sudden change and asked Riku. "Should we stop them?"

Indeed, it would a good idea to stop them but Riku replied, "Nah, let's let those two tire themselves out."

"If you say so," Sora said, sweatdropping massively at the two bickering girls. 

"Why don't you look for some other guy to hang around with," Rei said coldly at Lori. But unfortunately for Rei, who did not know of Lori…err…overly vulgar tongue, Lori wasn't gonna go down without a fight.

Just like Lori would do when pissed off, a cursing fit erupted. 

"Dammit, you bitch! You think you can just take Riku from me just like that?! Well, girl, you have another thing coming!!!!! You seriously piss me off, you know that!?"

Sora and Rei went dot-eyed at the sudden outburst from Lori and stared blankly at her.

"What," Lori asked, going dot-eyed her self. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

"Lori, need I talk to you about cursing again," Riku asked, crossing his arms.

Suddenly, the Yu-Gi-Oh theme song began to play out of nowhere. The ever popular TV show about playing cards and all the rage in schools.

The 4 teens went dot eyed once again and sweatdropped.

"IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!!!!" rang out through the house.

"OH! Yu-gi-oh's on!!" cried Sora running to the TV and turning it on. 

Riku, Rei and Lori did an anime crashed and got up staring at Sora.

Lori regained her composure and went back to glaring at Rei.

Rei followed suit and smirked slightly. 

"Why don't you just give up on Riku? He's way out of your league," leered Rei.

Lori's eyebrow twitched slightly. Her fists clenched tightly and a fire burned in her eyes. A similar fire burned in Rei's eyes. 

This could go on for days if not stopped soon. Luckily a divine intervention was about to occur……..literally. All of a sudden a strong, divine light began to shine. Lori scowled, Rei raised her eyebrow, Riku just sipped his tea and Sora just stared blankly at the light, what a way to ruin your eyesight! Ansem appeared out the light, wearing a pure white monk's robe complete with a cross and matching underwear that showed through the back….wait a minute! Why is his underwear showing?! Ugh, white underwear with a splash of baby pink and blue flowers. 

Riku looked up and nearly spat in his tea. "Riiiighhhtt……Ansem, tell me have you nothing better to do with your spare time?" Riku asked the now "Holy" Ansem.

"I have now given up on my evil ways! I shall spread the word of peace to the young 'uns, " exclaimed the "Holy" Ansem. Pfft, "spread the word of peace"?! Yeah right!! The four teenagers were oblivious to Ansem's "evil" plan! Oh, what woe! If only, I, the narrator, could tell them! But they can't hear for shit what I say. 

Ahem, anyway, back on track, Ansem had something more sinister in mind. He wanted to attack the poor kids while they were at their weakest! What a lowlife! Injustice!

Lori smirked. Her mischievous grin, of course. This prankster had a solution for almost anything, but Rei intervened with her devious plan. Rei scowled at Ansem, not happy at his intrusion. She scoffed and stomped into the kitchen, coming back shortly with a menacing pair of gardening shears. Ansem squeaked at the sight of the shears.

"W-what're you gonna do with those?" Ansem asked the raven haired girl. A demonic grin on her face. Lori could not help but laugh at this. Sora also laughed. "♪Ansem's gonna get it!♪" he sang, jokingly. 

"Now, now! No need for violence," said the scared Ansem, beads of sweat running down his face. Ansem was in for the scariest moments of his life. The horrors of gardening shears on a cashmere and silk robe. Tsk, tsk. Ansem really knows how to get his ass in trouble. 

Anyway, I'm afraid that the following scene will have to be censored, please excuse the inconvenience.

Ansem let out a horrible screech and the sound of cloth being snipped could be heard. 

Riku did his best to stifle a laugh at a glance of Ansem's new outfit. "Suits you, Ansem," Riku teased.

Aiyi yi, yi, Rei certainly did a number on Ansem. His outfit now resembled a fairy's outfit. The cutting was done horribly, but what can you expect with gardening shears?  Lori even took the liberty of applying a rather thick coat of make up on Ansem. The dark overlord of darkness gone Holy man is now a china doll. His skin was paper white, thanks to foundation, his lips were the brightest shadow of red you could imagine and he had bright, bright blue eye shadow, along with charcoal black mascara which made his eyelashes appear huge and googly. His silver hair was in a tight bun the size of a basket ball and was adorned by cheap, plastic hair ornaments. Cheap gold jewelry adorned his neck and fingers as well. 

"What have you, two monsters done, to me?!?!?!," cried Ansem, upon glancing in the mirror. His lip quivered and looked like he was about to cry!

Sora started to laugh his ass off at Ansem. "Wow, Ansem! I never knew you were a metro sexual(men in touch with their feminine side)!" he cried, in between laughs. Riku, too, began to laugh hysterically. Ansem couldn't stand it, the poor soul, he got up and ran out the room, his face hidden in his hands. 

The four teens watched the poor man leave, before shrugging and going back to laughing. What evil teens, children nowadays have absolutely no respect for their elders. Tsk, tsk, what is civilization falling to? 

"I'LL GET MY REVENGE!!!" Ansem could be heard screaming in the distance. I hope the 4 teens will take the threat seriously. But knowing them, they will not. 

"Ahh, that was fun," sighed Lori. "Not everyday, I get to dress a guy up as a woman."

~Ansem~

Ansem sat quietly in a dark corner, the only light came from a single candle. 

"Those twerps," his lip quivered. "They'll pay! You hear me?! PAY!!!! MWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAH!!!" he laughed insanely. He has gone back to his evil self. 

Why am I cursed as narrator of this fic! Curse you, author! You gave me a cruel fate! I HATE YOU! Wait….wait….don't point that rifle at me…..I'll behave! PROMISE! Whew…….NOOOO! I SAID I'LL BE HAVE!!! PLEASE! NOT "THE ROOM"! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I must bid you all a farewell! Stay tuned for the next chapter!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

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Lori: :3 I'm so evil to the Narrator, mwahahahaha! Anyway, please review and stay tuned for the next chapter! Ke heh heheh he hehehe! 


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